I'd hate to bring this up again, because it's sounding redundant, but in December I was laid out for close to 2 weeks. Most of those days were spent in bed. Sick. Against my wish and against my will. The desire to craft even left me for that time; and I didn't miss it.
I fell behind on my housework, and things got messy & chaotic.
I started feeling better the last day of 2013, but with preparations for 2014, I was more concerned with other things; i.e., I didn't get to do any deep cleaning.
A week into the new year we joined our church in a 21 day fast (which is what prompted this blog), and along with a strict food fast, I felt from God to fast from social media & crafting. I didn't understand why, because neither of those were sinful, but I obeyed. (Later I realized it was because those were becoming my idols - putting & spending more time with that before Him).
Deuteronomy 4:24 - For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
Exodus 20:3 - You shall have no other gods before me.
On the 2nd day of the fast I found my body to be weak. Lazy. I slept most of the afternoon; with feelings of guilt. Because shouldn't I be reading the word during this time instead? But I could not muster up the energy. The following day (Wednesday), came with the same symptoms. All my plans to do some deep cleaning were at a stand-still. Imagine not being able to clean all week, let alone 3-4 weeks! The laundry baskets piled. The shine, the floors once had, becoming gray. And toys were everywhere!
It was overwhelming for me to see; all the while feeling tired and guilty. I had such wonderful plans to be up extra early everyday. Get my praise & worship on. Get my bible on. Get my studying on. Then be ready to tackle the day. To complete a household task each day. But I was beginning to fail already at my New Year's goal. All I could do was wake up (when my son woke me up), and get enough energy to make him something for breakfast. Then return to bed. At least I was able to read & study in bed, as I rested (I thought).
Wednesday evening, as we got ready for church, I felt faint. To the point of nearly passing out. I had to drag myself from the bathroom to the bed and lay on my back. Breathing heavy. Trying to focus on something surrounding me, since the moments earlier had left me seeing white and yellow flashes of blurry light. I was able to get up after a few minutes and continue brushing my hair, but I knew something odd was happening to me.
It got to the point where just taking a shower took all strength in me to do. Walking back to the bedroom, from the bathroom (which is right in my bedroom), took my breath away. I'd have to sit for a few minutes and catch my breath. (I never used my inhaler as much as I did last week!) It was something I had never experienced before.
I knew it had something to do with the change of food intake. But I had vowed I would not give up on the fast. I didn't want to fail or disappoint God. Being dizzy, fatigued and weak was a SMALL price to pay for everything He's done and everything He wants to do in my life. So I continued on my fast, but I upgraded to a meatless salad for lunch, instead of just a bowl of fruit. And added brown rice to my all veggie & protein dinners.
Saturday my husband took me to Med Express. I had been there 2 weeks earlier for the infection in my ear & throat, so I knew the care would be swift and detailed. Thank God that the report on diabetes came back negative, and that all other vitals were normal. But I was still lethargic. Having a history of anemia would also define why my body was malfunctioning. But I was determined to continue.
That afternoon we were able to complete some errands, including visiting a Farmer's Market we hadn't been to in a couple of years. Slowly I was getting back a little of the strength in my limbs; a wonderful realization after having suffered jello arms all week.
Sunday we went to church, and although I was still experiencing shortness of breath, I had strength. I was able to help set up benches for a little bit, but in the middle of worship I became winded and sat down.
Isaiah 40:29 - He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:31 - but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Philippians 4:13 - For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
By Sunday evening Monday morning my strength was at 75%. And today (Tuesday), I woke up with so much energy and so much enthusiasm. I was able to do some deep deep cleaning on the 2nd floor. Which is where our living room, dining room and kitchen are located. It was NASTY!
I give thanks to God for my patient & caring husband. Because after a hard day of physical labor, he would help me with Gio and he would cook our dinners. He is heaven-sent. I am blessed with a great man/friend/husband, because any other man would have either ended the fast and gotten take out, or complained, argued and yelled.
Since I found myself with so much stamina today, I set up my son in the living room with his fav show, set myself up with Pandora in the kitchen, and began clearing up the rest of the Christmas decorations. (We took the tree down on Saturday). I spent over 2 hours cleaning, and did it with such joy. I felt so grateful for the energy I received to do it. And it helped that I asked God to give me the strength, motivation and desire to do it.
As I rinsed the last tupperware, I rejoiced (singing along with Pandora) at how clean and tidy everything looked, but still thought of the rest of the house and how much was still left to do. Then a few thoughts came to mind. "Cleaning the major things (those that are evident & visible) should be a daily task; wiping tables, sweeping and putting away dishes. Then once you keep a steady rhythm of basic daily maintenance, will you be able to sense/discover/notice the smaller hidden dirt that is not as easy to see; dust, tiny ants behind the sofa, crumbs under the stove top."
Immediately I knew it was the Holy Spirit speaking to my mind. The thoughts continued...
There are common sins we partake in (those that EVERYONE knows about); for example, we lie, steal & cheat, etc., where when we come to Christ we automatically experience the knowledge (as a moral nation) to stop stealing, stop lieing and stop cheating. And with the help of God and self-control, we are able to end these things almost immediately. Daily we must ask Jesus to help us remove & clean these evident sins, like using bad language. Something that naturally happens to us, whether it be through rage that a curse word slips or because this is our "normal" speech.
And once we master that daily cleansing, with the help of God, we will be able to sense/discover and notice all those lingering sins. The tiny ones we don't know are there. That are hidden deep in our hearts.
In an age where social media is a common means for communication, we are subject to seeing the everyday awesome lives of others. How beautiful & spacious their homes are. How many new shoes they purchase a week. How fun their trip to London must've been. And we begin to wish we were able to have that and obtain those things. Once these thoughts creep into our minds they continually affect & stump our spiritual growth. It teaches us that we're not grateful for what we already have. For our weekend getaways (aka vacation), to a nearby, yet far enough to be away from anyone we know, city. For our 2 bedroom apartments. For the 2 pairs of shoes and 1 pair of sneakers we have. These thoughts create envy and jealousy in our hearts. Which lead us to either hate the people who have more than us, make us feel insecure & unsuccessful, or drive us to spend more to catch up to them.
James 3:14 - But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
James 3:16 - For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
Proverbs 14:30 - A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
And it is with these hidden sins that we must be careful. Because they go unnoticed and creep in quietly.
I pray God examines my heart each day and uproots all these nasty & evil & selfish sins that don't please my savior, and robs me of my happiness. I pray He reveals them to me and shows me how to sense when it's trying to sneak back in. I pray that the daily cleansing on my heart, mind and soul will increase my love of God and will help me appreciate my life...
As it is...
Dirty dishes. 8 smelly laundry baskets. And all.
Matthew 5:8 - Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
I fell behind on my housework, and things got messy & chaotic.
I started feeling better the last day of 2013, but with preparations for 2014, I was more concerned with other things; i.e., I didn't get to do any deep cleaning.
A week into the new year we joined our church in a 21 day fast (which is what prompted this blog), and along with a strict food fast, I felt from God to fast from social media & crafting. I didn't understand why, because neither of those were sinful, but I obeyed. (Later I realized it was because those were becoming my idols - putting & spending more time with that before Him).
Deuteronomy 4:24 - For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
Exodus 20:3 - You shall have no other gods before me.
On the 2nd day of the fast I found my body to be weak. Lazy. I slept most of the afternoon; with feelings of guilt. Because shouldn't I be reading the word during this time instead? But I could not muster up the energy. The following day (Wednesday), came with the same symptoms. All my plans to do some deep cleaning were at a stand-still. Imagine not being able to clean all week, let alone 3-4 weeks! The laundry baskets piled. The shine, the floors once had, becoming gray. And toys were everywhere!
It was overwhelming for me to see; all the while feeling tired and guilty. I had such wonderful plans to be up extra early everyday. Get my praise & worship on. Get my bible on. Get my studying on. Then be ready to tackle the day. To complete a household task each day. But I was beginning to fail already at my New Year's goal. All I could do was wake up (when my son woke me up), and get enough energy to make him something for breakfast. Then return to bed. At least I was able to read & study in bed, as I rested (I thought).
Wednesday evening, as we got ready for church, I felt faint. To the point of nearly passing out. I had to drag myself from the bathroom to the bed and lay on my back. Breathing heavy. Trying to focus on something surrounding me, since the moments earlier had left me seeing white and yellow flashes of blurry light. I was able to get up after a few minutes and continue brushing my hair, but I knew something odd was happening to me.
It got to the point where just taking a shower took all strength in me to do. Walking back to the bedroom, from the bathroom (which is right in my bedroom), took my breath away. I'd have to sit for a few minutes and catch my breath. (I never used my inhaler as much as I did last week!) It was something I had never experienced before.
I knew it had something to do with the change of food intake. But I had vowed I would not give up on the fast. I didn't want to fail or disappoint God. Being dizzy, fatigued and weak was a SMALL price to pay for everything He's done and everything He wants to do in my life. So I continued on my fast, but I upgraded to a meatless salad for lunch, instead of just a bowl of fruit. And added brown rice to my all veggie & protein dinners.
 |
| Grilled zucchini, brown rice & honey garlic wings. (all natural) |
Saturday my husband took me to Med Express. I had been there 2 weeks earlier for the infection in my ear & throat, so I knew the care would be swift and detailed. Thank God that the report on diabetes came back negative, and that all other vitals were normal. But I was still lethargic. Having a history of anemia would also define why my body was malfunctioning. But I was determined to continue.
That afternoon we were able to complete some errands, including visiting a Farmer's Market we hadn't been to in a couple of years. Slowly I was getting back a little of the strength in my limbs; a wonderful realization after having suffered jello arms all week.
Isaiah 40:29 - He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Isaiah 40:31 - but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Philippians 4:13 - For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
By Sunday evening Monday morning my strength was at 75%. And today (Tuesday), I woke up with so much energy and so much enthusiasm. I was able to do some deep deep cleaning on the 2nd floor. Which is where our living room, dining room and kitchen are located. It was NASTY!
I give thanks to God for my patient & caring husband. Because after a hard day of physical labor, he would help me with Gio and he would cook our dinners. He is heaven-sent. I am blessed with a great man/friend/husband, because any other man would have either ended the fast and gotten take out, or complained, argued and yelled.
Since I found myself with so much stamina today, I set up my son in the living room with his fav show, set myself up with Pandora in the kitchen, and began clearing up the rest of the Christmas decorations. (We took the tree down on Saturday). I spent over 2 hours cleaning, and did it with such joy. I felt so grateful for the energy I received to do it. And it helped that I asked God to give me the strength, motivation and desire to do it.
As I rinsed the last tupperware, I rejoiced (singing along with Pandora) at how clean and tidy everything looked, but still thought of the rest of the house and how much was still left to do. Then a few thoughts came to mind. "Cleaning the major things (those that are evident & visible) should be a daily task; wiping tables, sweeping and putting away dishes. Then once you keep a steady rhythm of basic daily maintenance, will you be able to sense/discover/notice the smaller hidden dirt that is not as easy to see; dust, tiny ants behind the sofa, crumbs under the stove top."
Immediately I knew it was the Holy Spirit speaking to my mind. The thoughts continued...
There are common sins we partake in (those that EVERYONE knows about); for example, we lie, steal & cheat, etc., where when we come to Christ we automatically experience the knowledge (as a moral nation) to stop stealing, stop lieing and stop cheating. And with the help of God and self-control, we are able to end these things almost immediately. Daily we must ask Jesus to help us remove & clean these evident sins, like using bad language. Something that naturally happens to us, whether it be through rage that a curse word slips or because this is our "normal" speech.
And once we master that daily cleansing, with the help of God, we will be able to sense/discover and notice all those lingering sins. The tiny ones we don't know are there. That are hidden deep in our hearts.
In an age where social media is a common means for communication, we are subject to seeing the everyday awesome lives of others. How beautiful & spacious their homes are. How many new shoes they purchase a week. How fun their trip to London must've been. And we begin to wish we were able to have that and obtain those things. Once these thoughts creep into our minds they continually affect & stump our spiritual growth. It teaches us that we're not grateful for what we already have. For our weekend getaways (aka vacation), to a nearby, yet far enough to be away from anyone we know, city. For our 2 bedroom apartments. For the 2 pairs of shoes and 1 pair of sneakers we have. These thoughts create envy and jealousy in our hearts. Which lead us to either hate the people who have more than us, make us feel insecure & unsuccessful, or drive us to spend more to catch up to them.
James 3:14 - But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
James 3:16 - For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
Proverbs 14:30 - A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
And it is with these hidden sins that we must be careful. Because they go unnoticed and creep in quietly.
I pray God examines my heart each day and uproots all these nasty & evil & selfish sins that don't please my savior, and robs me of my happiness. I pray He reveals them to me and shows me how to sense when it's trying to sneak back in. I pray that the daily cleansing on my heart, mind and soul will increase my love of God and will help me appreciate my life...
As it is...
Dirty dishes. 8 smelly laundry baskets. And all.
Matthew 5:8 - Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
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good to read your experiences Damaris!! this post has made me to reflect on my life...
ReplyDelete-Berina
Moxie Craftie