It was a year ago this month when we decided, (my husband and I), to "sacrifice" one Friday night for the sake of attending our church's Youth Conference. "Metamorphosis".
What sacrifice were we making really? I honestly can't remember.
It probably consisted of going out to dinner, watching some shows on Netflix or renting a Redbox movie.
Whatever it was that we did on the weekends, we felt (at the time) was a REAL sacrifice giving it up to attend church that evening.
But in the state of laziness, mediocrity and distance from the church, that I, (we), was in, there was still a 5-word prayer I whispered at night before falling asleep.
We had become very lazy. Getting up early on a Sunday, what used to be second nature for us, became a chore. It all began with days that my husband had to work, so instead of going to church with my son while he worked, I tagged along for a "family fun day". We'd go to Port St. Lucie, he'd work on machines, as Gio and I enjoyed the hour playing video games, winning tickets and exchanging them for prizes. Because it was free and fun, and it seemed harmless, but later became a ritual once we got over the guilt of being there instead of church.
As laziness set in, we'd wake up with enough time to get ready, but would drag our feet. Barely making it to service on time. Then it evolved into waking up late, and missing worship service. "Well at least we got here!" we'd think. Til eventually we were way past getting there at a time that any decent ex-pastor and ex-church-secretary should arrive. (We had stepped down from our responsibilities to concentrate on work and home life).
So what did we do when we missed church and didn't have anything to do? We became very "productive". We used the time to clean the house, do laundry, shop for groceries, go to the park, visit family, ie, "fun" time. Not realizing that we were in the middle of a huge drift.
The devil uses these "fun" tactics, wrapped around "good reasons" to cause people to so delicately float away from God's plan. From the very reason you were created. He plants these moments and thoughts (if we're not careful and don't see them coming), which take root in us and begin to develop an "it's okay, it's just this one time" attitude.
Let me take a moment to give weight and meaning to this word, "DRIFT".
As a verb, this word means "To Be Carried Away Slowly By A Current Of Air Or Water".
As a noun, it means "A Continuous Slow Movement From One Place To Another".
So we can safely define that drifting is the process of being slowly and continually moved from one place to another, as if by a current of air or water.
It happens gradually,
slowly & quietly.
The current of air isn't harsh wind.
The current of water isn't a fierce rainstorm.
It's gentle and easy.
Flowing in another direction.
And it always seems to bring excitement and entertainment.
So after many months of drifting, and slowly slipping away from church services, we found ourselves offended. Because after the enemy takes us away from the element that feeds us spiritually, he then begins to feed us lies. "They haven't called you in weeks". "Why don't they care anymore?" "They don't bother to see why you haven't gone to church in 4 months." "What kinda love is that?" "They don't really love you. They were just using you for your talent." (These are real and natural thoughts people encounter.) We believed these lies and now an offense began to take root.
Though we were not sinning while we drifted, we were not connected.
Not being fed.
Not seeking God.
Not reading our bibles.
Not praying.
We really drifted.
And now found ourselves with an offense created by the enemy himself.
What a sly/slick master deceiver he is!
But those 5 little words...
My only prayer in that time of solitude.
Yes, because what started out as "family fun time", (once offense was added to the mix), became a fortress of hurt & loneliness.
No one loved us, but us.
And God.
Because we knew better.
God FOR SURE loved us.
But He was the only one.
And since I knew God still loved me,
or hoped He did,
I would say my 5 word prayer.
Sometimes during the week.
And always on Saturday nights.
Because I thought a miracle would happen on Sunday morning.
Where we'd wake up early and make it to church on time.
"God, Don't Forget About Us."
I would say it with all sincerity.
I knew we weren't living right.
We weren't really sinning, but we weren't where we needed to be.
We didn't go out drinking, but we weren't worshiping.
We didn't smoke anything, but we weren't studying the bible.
We were deceived. And we allowed ourselves to get there and stay there.
I would close my eyes and unexpectedly shed a few tears as I whispered "God, don't forget about us."
What a nice surprise to see I still had some emotion!
At that point I gave up on caring about what people thought of me.
I wasn't interested in knowing about them.
They shunned me, I felt.
I didn't feel welcome and I certainly wasn't going to waste anymore tears on them.
So this wall around my heart,
the part of me that showed any kind of sentiment,
was only seen by God, as I asked him to help us.
After a while, those 5 prayer words became full sentences, with paragraphs and bible verses.
"Lord, I don't know how to get myself up.
I got myself in this ditch.
I don't think you're hearing me.
Because I've left you and now I'm considered unrighteous.
But just in case you're listening, please help us.
Don't forget about us.
We're stuck in mud, and know we gotta get out, but just don't know how to.
Do something!"
It wasn't long before we began to see announcements on Facebook about the "Metamorphosis" Youth Conference, and even received a private invite from one of the pastors of our church via inbox.
So, on that faithful Friday afternoon. We made it our priority to get ready early and get there.
I don't remember if we were there in time for worship, but we were there.
God spoke and I had a few tears appear, to which I quickly wiped away.
Because I was in the right, and they were in the wrong, and I didn't want them to see my "weakness".
That following weekend we were asked to come visit another church, where one of our favorite preachers would be ministering, and we joyfully accepted.
That weekend we received, I believe, a real mental breakthrough. The kind that gets your mind made up to serve God. And decided we would return, but we would not get attached to anyone. We would not let them in. We would only go to serve God. Give our offering & tithes. And be out!
Not working in ministry meant no room to get hurt again.
Not having relationships with church folk meant no room to get hurt again.
We weren't looking to get back what we left behind.
We simply wanted forgiveness.
But God had other plans.
And I thank God that He didn't allow me (us) to stay in that "it's all about us" state of mind.
Because I wouldn't be here, right now, to share a partial testimony with you.
Partial, because there's more to this story that I want to share in my next blog, but let me leave you with this bible verse...
Psalm 37:23 - "A man's steps are established by the LORD, and the LORD delights in his way."
You may hide.
Or run away.
Drift off to "fun" time.
But the plan God had/has for you, that was established before creation, WILL come to pass.
You can either go the easy route,
and follow His lead.
Doing as He wills you to do.
Or stray,
corrupting your mind and heart with lies and deceit,
making it a difficult moment in time for yourself.
One He never intended for you to experience.
Whatever the scenario you choose,
in the end,
He always gets His way.
He is God.
Romans 8:38-39 - "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
What sacrifice were we making really? I honestly can't remember.
It probably consisted of going out to dinner, watching some shows on Netflix or renting a Redbox movie.
Whatever it was that we did on the weekends, we felt (at the time) was a REAL sacrifice giving it up to attend church that evening.
But in the state of laziness, mediocrity and distance from the church, that I, (we), was in, there was still a 5-word prayer I whispered at night before falling asleep.
We had become very lazy. Getting up early on a Sunday, what used to be second nature for us, became a chore. It all began with days that my husband had to work, so instead of going to church with my son while he worked, I tagged along for a "family fun day". We'd go to Port St. Lucie, he'd work on machines, as Gio and I enjoyed the hour playing video games, winning tickets and exchanging them for prizes. Because it was free and fun, and it seemed harmless, but later became a ritual once we got over the guilt of being there instead of church.
As laziness set in, we'd wake up with enough time to get ready, but would drag our feet. Barely making it to service on time. Then it evolved into waking up late, and missing worship service. "Well at least we got here!" we'd think. Til eventually we were way past getting there at a time that any decent ex-pastor and ex-church-secretary should arrive. (We had stepped down from our responsibilities to concentrate on work and home life).
So what did we do when we missed church and didn't have anything to do? We became very "productive". We used the time to clean the house, do laundry, shop for groceries, go to the park, visit family, ie, "fun" time. Not realizing that we were in the middle of a huge drift.
The devil uses these "fun" tactics, wrapped around "good reasons" to cause people to so delicately float away from God's plan. From the very reason you were created. He plants these moments and thoughts (if we're not careful and don't see them coming), which take root in us and begin to develop an "it's okay, it's just this one time" attitude.
Let me take a moment to give weight and meaning to this word, "DRIFT".
As a verb, this word means "To Be Carried Away Slowly By A Current Of Air Or Water".
As a noun, it means "A Continuous Slow Movement From One Place To Another".
So we can safely define that drifting is the process of being slowly and continually moved from one place to another, as if by a current of air or water.
It happens gradually,
slowly & quietly.
The current of air isn't harsh wind.
The current of water isn't a fierce rainstorm.
It's gentle and easy.
Flowing in another direction.
And it always seems to bring excitement and entertainment.
So after many months of drifting, and slowly slipping away from church services, we found ourselves offended. Because after the enemy takes us away from the element that feeds us spiritually, he then begins to feed us lies. "They haven't called you in weeks". "Why don't they care anymore?" "They don't bother to see why you haven't gone to church in 4 months." "What kinda love is that?" "They don't really love you. They were just using you for your talent." (These are real and natural thoughts people encounter.) We believed these lies and now an offense began to take root.
Though we were not sinning while we drifted, we were not connected.
Not being fed.
Not seeking God.
Not reading our bibles.
Not praying.
We really drifted.
And now found ourselves with an offense created by the enemy himself.
What a sly/slick master deceiver he is!
But those 5 little words...
My only prayer in that time of solitude.
Yes, because what started out as "family fun time", (once offense was added to the mix), became a fortress of hurt & loneliness.
No one loved us, but us.
And God.
Because we knew better.
God FOR SURE loved us.
But He was the only one.
And since I knew God still loved me,
or hoped He did,
I would say my 5 word prayer.
Sometimes during the week.
And always on Saturday nights.
Because I thought a miracle would happen on Sunday morning.
Where we'd wake up early and make it to church on time.
"God, Don't Forget About Us."
I would say it with all sincerity.
I knew we weren't living right.
We weren't really sinning, but we weren't where we needed to be.
We didn't go out drinking, but we weren't worshiping.
We didn't smoke anything, but we weren't studying the bible.
We were deceived. And we allowed ourselves to get there and stay there.
I would close my eyes and unexpectedly shed a few tears as I whispered "God, don't forget about us."
What a nice surprise to see I still had some emotion!
At that point I gave up on caring about what people thought of me.
I wasn't interested in knowing about them.
They shunned me, I felt.
I didn't feel welcome and I certainly wasn't going to waste anymore tears on them.
So this wall around my heart,
the part of me that showed any kind of sentiment,
was only seen by God, as I asked him to help us.
After a while, those 5 prayer words became full sentences, with paragraphs and bible verses.
"Lord, I don't know how to get myself up.
I got myself in this ditch.
I don't think you're hearing me.
Because I've left you and now I'm considered unrighteous.
But just in case you're listening, please help us.
Don't forget about us.
We're stuck in mud, and know we gotta get out, but just don't know how to.
Do something!"
It wasn't long before we began to see announcements on Facebook about the "Metamorphosis" Youth Conference, and even received a private invite from one of the pastors of our church via inbox.
So, on that faithful Friday afternoon. We made it our priority to get ready early and get there.
I don't remember if we were there in time for worship, but we were there.
God spoke and I had a few tears appear, to which I quickly wiped away.
Because I was in the right, and they were in the wrong, and I didn't want them to see my "weakness".
That following weekend we were asked to come visit another church, where one of our favorite preachers would be ministering, and we joyfully accepted.
That weekend we received, I believe, a real mental breakthrough. The kind that gets your mind made up to serve God. And decided we would return, but we would not get attached to anyone. We would not let them in. We would only go to serve God. Give our offering & tithes. And be out!
Not working in ministry meant no room to get hurt again.
Not having relationships with church folk meant no room to get hurt again.
We weren't looking to get back what we left behind.
We simply wanted forgiveness.
But God had other plans.
And I thank God that He didn't allow me (us) to stay in that "it's all about us" state of mind.
Because I wouldn't be here, right now, to share a partial testimony with you.
Partial, because there's more to this story that I want to share in my next blog, but let me leave you with this bible verse...
Psalm 37:23 - "A man's steps are established by the LORD, and the LORD delights in his way."
You may hide.
Or run away.
Drift off to "fun" time.
But the plan God had/has for you, that was established before creation, WILL come to pass.
You can either go the easy route,
and follow His lead.
Doing as He wills you to do.
Or stray,
corrupting your mind and heart with lies and deceit,
making it a difficult moment in time for yourself.
One He never intended for you to experience.
Whatever the scenario you choose,
in the end,
He always gets His way.
He is God.
Romans 8:38-39 - "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment